I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think a kid would responsible me up
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
