playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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