You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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