I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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