oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize