1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize