I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
did i just pee glitter
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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