Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
