my sisters under your porch take her home
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
where are you?
Hypothermia
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Mom said you looked used
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize