I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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