The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
