We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
