we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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