You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
