dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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