I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
