I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
