Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize