Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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