belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
