So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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