Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
