real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
