I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
