i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
