he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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