haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
