Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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