girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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