yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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