i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
