I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
