I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
