Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
