i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
