Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When did angry sex become our thing?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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