hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
