Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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