What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
