I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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