garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
