That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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