THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
