is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
