I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize