You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Liz is crying about burritos again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
