We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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