I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
