Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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