I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Sorry about my life...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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