I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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