we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
