no, he came in my armpit
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
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