How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All I want is dick and wine.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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