we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
