I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
