would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
