do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
