Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
