Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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