Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
