Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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